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1. In an effort to escape from the monkeys, 4th jumped ship. We all sat on the edge of the boat and waved, but we're not sure how much it helped him.

2. After the offer to the Beatles was rejected, members of iCE were offered the 150 million to do a reunion concert. Currently we have the following lineup: Guitarists: Lemonade Isosceles Friar Tuck Greater Evil Syntax Error Keyboards: Force Ten Drums: Lord Soth Jungle DJ: Shaggy Flute: Black Viper Roadie: Boa

The distinct lack of singers and songs do not worry us at this point. We would like to thank our fans at Acid Productions for reserving a full 15 rows at all our concerts. We thank you for your patronage!

3. The reports you heard yesterday about a certain Senior Staffer learning Latin for sexual purposes is completely untrue. The correct language was Russian, and Pez were NOT involved in this incident.

4. We apologize sincerely for the problems with our ice.org servers this month. We assure you it was no party for us, either. Hopefully we will not have any more problems of this nature in the future.

5. Airlifted in on our new 1997 model helicopters were Elastic, Mass Murderer, and Heat. Elastic and Mass Murderer are both very talented ansi artists, and Heat is a great addition to our stong VGA team. We're simply eudaemonical about them joining us.

6. If you think this is in the right wrong, then you're dead order.

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